


evermore

by Nerdgoddess



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Character Study, Evermore - Freeform, I Tried, Kinda, M/M, Other Characters Are Mentioned, POV Andrew Minyard, Song fic, but its all Andrew for this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:53:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28151181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdgoddess/pseuds/Nerdgoddess
Summary: For most of Andrew's life, he has known only pain. This is him realizing that it won't last forever.Lyrics and inspiration from evermore by Taylor Swift
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	evermore

**Author's Note:**

> Damn Daniel, back at it again with another song fic.
> 
> I never claimed to know how to write but this song needed to be directly applied to Andrew Minyard. 
> 
> Warning:  
> There are mentions of drake in the beginning but nothing specific or graphic. Andrew in rehab is also a part of the story, as well as his withdrawal. No Proust though.

_ Gray November, I've been down since July _

_ Motion capture, Put me in a bad light _

He came back. The monster from outside Andrew’s bedroom door came back. He crossed the country just to get him. He got to him. He  _ touched  _ him. But he didn’t touch Aaron. Aaron is safe. Nicky is safe. Kevin is safe. Neil is safe. His promises haven’t been broken. That’s what matters right now. Bee wouldn’t agree with that, but it was the truth. 

Despite everything, Andrew was a man of his word. He would keep his promises until his dying breath. Even in his weakest moments. Even now. This he knew. He also knew that downstairs Betty, Abby, and Wymack were waiting for him. To talk about what happened. And so, he stalled.

_ And I was catching my breath _

_ Staring out an open window _

_ Catching my death _

Andrew sat by the window in his old bedroom, cigarette in hand. It wasn’t nostalgic of his teen years in this room. It wasn’t comforting. But it was familiar. So he sat and watched as a trail of gray smoke was blown by the gentle yet cool breeze of the fall. The fact that his mind allowed him to focus on anything at all was astonishing. The mania hasn’t been reacting well to the events of the previous night. If he had the time or the energy, he would try to get clean again. He knew it was a waste though. All it would do was incapacitate him. Make him weak. Or weaker.

Andrew decided he had finally had enough of his hyperactive thoughts. He outed his cigarette, closed the window, and turned to his pills. He shook two out of the bottle and dry swallowed them. Time to face the masses, he supposed.

* * *

_ Hey December, Guess I'm feeling unmoored _

_ Can't remember, What I used to fight for _

Andrew laid motionless on his bed. Easthaven was an awful place to spend the holidays. Andrew never cared much for Christmas, but Nicky’s obnoxious singing was definitely better than going through withdrawal. 

His stomach felt like an active volcano. His throat burned as if he was throwing up lava, instead of his breakfast. His limbs felt like stone. His whole body felt like he’d been trapped under a landslide. Except for his head. While the rest of his body felt weighed down, his head felt like it was weightless. It seemed as if he was floating through space. Nothing tethering him back to his body. To his family. To Earth. Such a liberating feeling. But oh, what a terrifying one.

Now he could think clearly, for the most part. He thinks about everything he couldn’t think about from the past three years. He thinks about the house in Columbia. He thinks about Nicky and Aaron. He thinks about Kevin. He thinks about Neil.

He asks himself “Why do you bother anymore?” “You cannot protect them.” “ You can’t even protect yourself.” 

And they’re right. Or, he’s right. That doesn’t mean he can’t try.

_ And I couldn't be sure _

_ I had a feel _ _ ing so peculiar _

_ That this pain would be for _

_Evermore_

* * *

  
_ Can't not think of all the cost _

_ And the things that will be lost _

It’s not worth it. Andrew keeps telling himself that it’s not worth it. That he’s not worth it. He’s not even real. He’s not worth risking it all for. His promises. His family. No. Not over him. Not over  _ this _ . And yet, those blue eyes don’t make it any easier, do they?

_ And when I was shipwrecked  _

_ I thought of you  _

He’s a danger. A flight risk. 

_ In the cracks of light  _

_ I dreamed of you _

He wasn’t supposed to be real. He was supposed to be a hallucination. A side effect of the drugs.

_ It was real enough  _

_ To get me through _

He’s nothing. Or at least, he was supposed to be.

_ I'm on waves, out being tossed _

_ Is there a line that I could just go cross? _

He’s going to regret this. He knows he will. Despite that fact, Andrew still leans in and grabs ahold of Neil’s face.

_ You were there _

* * *

_ And I was catching my breath _

_ Floors of a cabin creaking under my step _

They’re in the mountains. Andrew always thought that if he ever went somewhere like this, he’d go alone. Not with 7 of the most annoying people alive and Renee. Then again, he doesn’t know why he expected anything different from the universe. 

He just walked out of the bathroom to find Neil sprawled out across the bed. He looks peaceful, a stark contrast to those new scars of his. But he’s beautiful all the same. Not that Andrew would ever say it out loud. He walks over to him and sits on the bed, close enough to feel his warmth but not close enough to be touching. 

_ This _ might not be so bad after all.

_ And I couldn't be sure _

_ I had a feeling so peculiar _

_ This pain wouldn't be for _

_ Evermore _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Also here is a link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXLgZZE072g


End file.
